Perhaps we all need to take five minutes to regulate and ask God to redirect our thoughts. Perhaps we all need to get out of the house and spend time in nature. Or perhaps we all just need a snack.
Motherhood - A wonderful and beautiful blessing from the Lord. But can I just be blunt and say that it is also incredibly hard? I feel like not enough of us admit to the reality of the challenges raising kids can bring and I completely understand why. It feels so shameful. Who wants to admit that what’s suppose to be the biggest blessing is also brings the biggest stressors? We continue to share the highlight reel and keep our innermost thoughts locked up. So, allow me to get the conversation started: I both love being a mother AND find it to be very hard. And mamas, it’s okay to feel that. It’s okay to not love every single moment. You are not a bad mother for wanting a break. You are not a bad person for needing a minute. You are human. It’s time to stop shaming ourselves for having human emotions. Can I ask you a question? Has shaming yourself for having these thoughts ever made you feel better? I’d argue that it makes you feel worse.
But if I’ve learned anything in the past few years, its that these challenges arise from wanting the best for our children. Our hearts were made to nurture and love. We all seem to have the same common goals: raise happy, healthy children who will go on to make happy, healthy choices. It’s this deep rooted love that drives us forward. It’s this love that creates a desire in us to be the best mother, the kindest mother, the most loving mother. In the heat of the moment though, it’s easy to forget this. Our thoughts can be deceiving.
I’d like to challenge you next time you feel the negative thoughts creeping in, to be curious. Allow the thoughts to flow through you without any shame or judgement. For example, if I have the thought, I’m the worst mom for losing my cool so quickly. A good mom would stay calm. I would stop, take a deep breath, and ask myself what are these thoughts trying to tell me? I might be overwhelmed, overstimulated or overtired. It might have been a long day of toddler tantrums. It might have been a long day at work. It makes sense I’m feeling this today. I can give myself compassion instead of shame. Perhaps we all need to take 5 minutes to regulate and ask God to redirect our thoughts. Perhaps we all need to get out of the house and spend time in nature. Or perhaps we all just need a snack. Only you know in that moment what small step you need to take to get you back on track. But I promise you, shaming yourself is not the way to get there. Let’s follow the advice of 2 Corinthians 10:5 and “take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.”
Mamas, you got this. I pray that you are able to show yourself grace during this season. I pray you can talk to yourself the way I imagine our Heavenly Father would. I know it’s easier said than done. I’m preaching to the choir. Every day I’m presented with challenging thoughts. Some days I’m able to show myself compassion, while other days not so much. But for now, I will take a deep breath, say a silent prayer and maybe eat a snack.